Mosaic of Grace

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans8:38-39                                                                                                                   As well as i think i know myself-past and present-there is One who knows me like absolutely no one else can. He knows my past, present and future. Even in His unlimited knowledge of me He loves me still. God’s love for me is perfect and extravagant. He lavishes His love upon me!                                                           Still, i doubt. Things i have said and done come back to haunt me. When these memories play in my head my heart begins to question how God could still love me. Somehow i can see how God might love others but not me.                                                                                                                                                                    It all boils down to pride in my heart. Yes, pride. At first i tried to deny it but the truth stared me in the eyes until i could deny it no more. In my pride i convinced myself that i was beyond God’s love and grace. I was basically calling Him a liar.                                                                                                                              Now, as God has been showing me my selfish pride He has done it out of His faithful love. I don’t know how many times in the past few days He has brought me to Romans 8:38&39 but i have learned that when God continually brings certain Scripture or thoughts to my attention i better listen closely! And i am so glad i did because as i read and meditate on Romans 8:38&39 i too am convinced that NOTHING can seperate me from God’s unfailing love. Not even my failure or my foolish pride-NOTHING!! 

Sometimes i question it, sometimes i doubt it; try as i might i can not figure it out. Sometimes i deny it, sometimes i fight it; yet nothing i do can ever change it. Sometimes i feel it so strong, sometimes i don’t feel it at all; regardless of how i feel it is always there. Sometimes i show it to others, sometimes i withhold it from the ones i should show it most; but whether i show it or not it is very real. It is Your love, Heavenly Father, that i sometimes question, sometimes doubt, sometimes deny and sometimes fight. When i do these things i am doing them unto You. But just as my feelings change from day to day, Your love is always the same. Forgive me, Father, and help me to show Your love to all people; even those who seem unlovable because You have always shown Your love to me.