Mosaic of Grace

Dear Friend,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I knew the day would come but now that it is so near, i am taking it pretty hard. You have been a dear friend to me, just like a brother. And though we haven’t seen each other in years, when God gave us the opportunity to become reacquainted through e-mail correspondence; it was as if no time had passed at all. You have your family now and i have mine too. Though our families have never met, my husband and children know and appreciate the friend you have always been to me.                                                   Now as you go to serve our country on foreign soil, as you have already done once before, i will be praying for you and your family. I’d like to ask everyone who reads this to pray also. Words fail me now as i search for the right thing to say. So i turn to God’s Word because it never fails:  “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9                                                                                                                   Keep these words in your heart and trust God to keep you in His hands. Thank you, Joe, for your service and your friendship. You are in our prayers. Take care, brother.       In His love,  Sherri

As springtime approaches thunderstorms become frequent occurences. Some weeks the rainfall here is so great it takes days for the ground to dry and the creek swells to a raging flow.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             You can see the rain is coming when cool winds begin to blow and the sky turns gray. Then lightning strikes and the thunder rolls. Dark clouds make it difficult to see the light yet the sun still shines. We cannot see it but it is there.                                                                                                                                                                                                                  What is true in thunderstorms is true in the storms of life. When the winds blow and the trials come it seems the darkness will consume us. When hardships like driving rains pour down on us our vision becomes blurred. Yet the Son does shine. Even when we cannot see Him He is always there!                                                                                               Remember this when clouds are on the horizon and darkness looms all around. Jesus is greater than any storm and His light drives out darkness. He is the Son that always shines.

It is not for lack of inspiration that i have not written for some time but it is because God has given me knowledge of the things in my life that hinder my relationship with Him. He has shown me the obstacles of pride and fear. He has opened my eyes to see the worthless idols that i cling to. He has shown me the masks i wear and how those masks have hidden the very things that need to be revealed. Thank God nothing can be hidden from Him, even with our most elaborate disguises! Still, the lessons have been difficult and brought discomfort into my life-and class isn’t over yet! The Teacher teaches me everyday but this is what i signed up for when i asked Him to search my heart and show me my ways that i might be transformed into the image of Christ. Now i wouldn’t have it any other way because in my weakness He is strong and He is strengthening me. I have filled many pages in the past few weeks with notes and thoughts. Most of them are unfinished because they involve what God is still teaching me. I believe in time God will tell me to share my notes with others but until then, please be patient; God isn’t done with this student yet.

Two o’clock Saturday morning, for some unknown reason, i woke up and could not get back to sleep. For an hour i just laid in the darkness, lost in thought. Nothing profound-just going over my to-do list in my head, rehashing events from the day before and trying to remember the title of the crazy song that keeps playing its annoying self in my mind. Though my mind was busy nothing was getting accomplished. As the minutes ticked away my frustration began to mount. Then it occured to me that i should pray.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Three o’clock Saturday morning, i began to pray. It was as if God was asking me, “Child, what took you so long?”. He knew the answer but i had to hear it for myself, “I was so distracted that i forgot.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Isn’t that true in all our lives and not just at two o’clock in the morning when we can’t sleep? Things happen, problems arise and crises occur but instead of taking it to God we turn to distractions. To numb the discomfort or pain we go to the kitchen for a bag of chips or ice cream. To keep ourselves from looking at our circumstances we busy ourselves with endless activity. To avoid being “exposed” to others we withdraw to the television or the internet. Satan uses many distractions to isolate us and prevent us from experiencing freedom and healing. The longer he can keep us distracted the harder it becomes for us to hear God calling out, “Come to me and I will give you rest.” Please beware of the distractions in your life that isolate and take your focus off the One who gives you peace.                                                                                    Four o’clock Saturday morning, i thanked God for opening my sleepy eyes to the distractions in my life and asked Him to help me to be more aware of them in the future. I know He is smiling at this time. Then the eyes that know no sleep watched me as i drifted off to sleep.                                                                                                                                “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28

To say the past couple of weeks have been frustrating would be an understatement. As someone who depends heavily on pen and paper to express herself it has really been difficult not being able to find the words to say what i have been feeling. It has felt as though there is a wall around my heart and breaking through that wall is no easy feat. I’ve tried forcing myself to write and it hasn’t worked-no surpise there! I’ve tried  distancing myself from all writing and that has been painful! Even my prayer life seems forced lately. Sometimes all i know to say is, “God, i don’t know what is going on here but i trust in You to get me through it.” And even though i do believe that i still find myself trying to rush through the discomfort. I am having to constantly remind myself that i am going to miss the point if i avoid the lesson.                                                             God is teaching me so much about myself these days and the more i learn about myself the more i learn about Him and His great love for me. Through the study “Breaking Free” i am learning about the obstacles in my life that prevent me from experiencing true freedom in Christ. As you can imagine that is not always an easy thing to hear when you are made aware of unbelief and pride in your own heart. The neat thing about having God as your teacher is that He is so patient and He wants what is best for you even if it is a little painful at first. It’s like having to take a shot at the doctor’s office-a moment of discomfort that is actually for your benefit and it may prevent you from an extended time of sickness and grief. So i have walked away with some sore toes in the process but that is much better than spiritual blindness and decay.                               Another resource God has used to open my eyes in the last week has been the book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning. I have been through the pages with my orange highlighter and now it is very colorful! A lot of what i have read here goes so well with the Bible study and even with our Sunday School lessons. There is this ugly thing called “self-righteousness” that shows its ugly head in me sometimes. I also have a tendency to wear masks. No, not those masks like children wear on Halloween but one that is scarier because while it may look happy and pleasant on the surface it hides lot of hurt and insecurities on the inside. After building up so long these things get really ugly. Then when they finally come out it’s like opening Pandora’s box! They come out in the form of anger,depression,resentment and self condemnation. As you and i know, these things are not of God. Why do i hide these things? Why do so many of us do the same? Because we believe we are just to bad for God to keep forgiving us, we are all alone and no one else will understand. The truth is the church is filled with people wearing masks and we’re all afraid! God sees through the disguises and He loves us still. Nothing we do or do not do will ever change that. He wants us to be free of the masks and filled with His grace. What would happen if we stopped playing masquerade and admitted that we do not have it all together? We’d all breathe a lot easier and burdens would be lifted. Churches would probably start filling up with people looking for a safe place to remove their masks. Let’s just try it and see for ourselves. Won’t you just ask God to help you remove that mask now? He is helping me with mine and He is more than happy to help you too.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Well, i thought this was going to be a short message but once i started sharing from the heart the words kept flowing. My mask is slipping some more and i am starting to see a little better now. You will be hearing more from me. Hope to hear from you…