Mosaic of Grace

,“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16                                                                                           I see the moon shining bright, through the darkness of the night. But if it weren’t for the sun there would be no light. As it glows in the black sky, it takes the radiance of the sun on high to reveal the moons true beauty to the beholding eye. What disaster would occur and devestation would concur if the moon left the way and from the sun did stray! I see the moon shining bright and hear the lesson God is teaching me tonight. In life, Jesus is the Son and the Light and in this world is darkness. It is by His power that my life can shine. The glory is His and not mine. Jesus is the truth and He tells me that beauty is more than meets the eye, and as i allow others to see the flaws in me they will see how great the Son’s power can be. Jesus is the Way. With Him i must stay or darkness will fill my days. I see the moon shining bright and thank God for brining to my sight this illustration of the Son’s awesome light and how i am to be a reflection that others might also see.

“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’” John 14:6

“Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” Exodus 34:14

The jealousy of God and the jealousy of man are not the same; one offers redemption the other suffers shame. One is for us, the other is against us. Godly jealousy wants what is best for you; the jealousy of man says, “It is all about me!”. In His jealousy God will judge, but His judgement is right and His discipline is to bring us back to the Light. In his jealousy a man will lie, cheat or kill; his intention is never right. So when you hear that God is a jealous God do not be troubled but be encouraged instead; because if God did not love you so much He would not care when you are misled.

Here i am again. Right back where i started. A place i never wanted to return. Yet i am the one who returned. It was my choice to turn from Your way and step out on my own. Now my walk has become a stumble and the road has turned to mud. My feet of clay sink deeper and deeper into the mush and slime. Though the trip wearies me so and i know it doesn’t have to be this way, i trudge along anyway. Pride and unbelief weigh me down, making me sink deeper into the miry ground.                                                                                          I hear You calling my name but the tears in my eyes sting and remind me it was my folly that got me in this mess. Covered in this mud that is my shame, i doubt that i could ever be in Your presence again. As these thoughts fill my mind another thought comes. Only this thought does not condemn but it gives me hope and restores my faith. No, this isn’t my thought at all-it is Your voice that i hear!                                        You tell me that You knew the choices i would make and the wrong turns i would take. You knew the day would come when my heart would stray til i became painfully aware that nothing else i pursue could ever take the place of You. When i could no longer bear the pain and there was nowhere else to turn You would take me back with arms wide open. Because of Your great love for me You allowed me to stray but You have never taken Your eyes off of me. Now You are calling me back. From my marshy pit i cry, “Father, frogive me for my rebellious pride that has brought me to this awful place. Bring me back to Your embrace and keep me at Your side!”.                                                                                                                                                  Already i feel my strength returning as You lift me from the mud and set my feet on solid ground. Thank You, most precious Heavenly Father!

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans8:38-39                                                                                                                   As well as i think i know myself-past and present-there is One who knows me like absolutely no one else can. He knows my past, present and future. Even in His unlimited knowledge of me He loves me still. God’s love for me is perfect and extravagant. He lavishes His love upon me!                                                           Still, i doubt. Things i have said and done come back to haunt me. When these memories play in my head my heart begins to question how God could still love me. Somehow i can see how God might love others but not me.                                                                                                                                                                    It all boils down to pride in my heart. Yes, pride. At first i tried to deny it but the truth stared me in the eyes until i could deny it no more. In my pride i convinced myself that i was beyond God’s love and grace. I was basically calling Him a liar.                                                                                                                              Now, as God has been showing me my selfish pride He has done it out of His faithful love. I don’t know how many times in the past few days He has brought me to Romans 8:38&39 but i have learned that when God continually brings certain Scripture or thoughts to my attention i better listen closely! And i am so glad i did because as i read and meditate on Romans 8:38&39 i too am convinced that NOTHING can seperate me from God’s unfailing love. Not even my failure or my foolish pride-NOTHING!! 

Sometimes i question it, sometimes i doubt it; try as i might i can not figure it out. Sometimes i deny it, sometimes i fight it; yet nothing i do can ever change it. Sometimes i feel it so strong, sometimes i don’t feel it at all; regardless of how i feel it is always there. Sometimes i show it to others, sometimes i withhold it from the ones i should show it most; but whether i show it or not it is very real. It is Your love, Heavenly Father, that i sometimes question, sometimes doubt, sometimes deny and sometimes fight. When i do these things i am doing them unto You. But just as my feelings change from day to day, Your love is always the same. Forgive me, Father, and help me to show Your love to all people; even those who seem unlovable because You have always shown Your love to me.